As the Dust Settles
by sqbr
Summary: Commander Shepard and Doctor Chakwas visit Liara after the events of "Lair of the Shadow Broker". Follows "Touched" but can be read by itself. Background Tali/m!Shep and past Liara/m!Shep.


The sky was a mass of clouds and lightening, giant mists of water vapour constantly coalescing and being destroyed in the ever shifting terminator between night and day. Doctor Chakwas' pale hair reflected the golds and reds of the perpetual sunset like a flickering flame. It was good to see her again.

"So, Liara," she said. "What's this I hear about you not getting enough sleep?"

Liara smiled. There was something comfortingly nostalgic about having Doctor Chakwas worry about her health. "I take it you've been speaking to Feron," she said. "It is good of you both to worry, but I am fine. I am not as much of a wilting flower as my time on the Normandy might have led you to believe."

Doctor Chakwas clicked her teeth disapprovingly at her, not entirely convinced. "Still, you shouldn't work yourself too hard. And it's not healthy to lock yourself up in this dank place, even if it does have a _spectacular_ view. You should get out and see the world in person rather than just on a screen. To give an _entirely_ hypothetical example, you could come visit us on the Normandy again."

"Plus you could stand to make it a bit less dank in here," said Ethan. He was sitting on the couch by the window going through some information on his datapad and doing his best to ignore any helpful advice from Liara's VI. "Your apartment on Ilium was pretty enough. Why don't you decorate a bit? Maybe get some nice big rocks and chuck them around the place. Or better yet, chuck them at this thing."

Liara imagined how the control room must look to their eyes. Where it was not lit by the window or the muted light of a viewscreen the dusty chamber was dark and obscured by mist. The large empty space was littered with cables and apart from a single sickly plant was undecorated and bare. Since taking control of the base she'd been putting off all but the most crucial renovations and repairs, focussing all her energy on getting a grip on the Shadow Broker's network of information. But she had a large staff of employees here now, it would not be that much effort to delegate the task of redecoration. The only trick would be making sure they didn't find out her identity.

"I'm not sure you should take redecoration advice from the Commander," said Chakwas. "The Normandy is still recovering from him letting Jack loose on all the Cerberus logos with a belt sander."

"Did you really…oh dear," said Liara.

* * *

><p>Liara and Ethan stood awash in a sea of information. As they talked of old times and new plans her mind never stopped watching and analysing the scrolling data, video and numbers and text coalescing into a complex picture of the ever changing state of the known universe. It was incredibly addictive, a hundred times more compelling than the sense of challenge and discovery she'd felt digging through ruins. The fact that such data was <em>useful<em> almost felt like a sidenote.

Ethan considered the viewscreens with an acquisitive eye, having chosen not to join Dr Chakwas as Feron gave her the full tour. "You know you could make a _shitload_ of money with all this," he said.

"That is the general idea of being an information broker," replied Liara, trying not to sound too condescending. "And a major my aim in taking over the Shadow Broker's network is to earn funds to help you prepare for the Reapers."

Ethan blinked at her. "Really? Wow, thanks. That will help a lot now we're not being bankrolled by Cerberus." He moved towards her abortively as if he had been going to shake her hand and then thought better of it. "Heh," he said with the confident smirk of a man who had no intention of following anyone's orders but his own. "I guess that makes you kind of my boss then."

"In a way," she said. The idea did have a certain appeal.

Liara suddenly noticed how close Ethan was standing. He smelled…alien yet familiar, and she was reminded of things best left forgotten. "So how is everyone back on the Normandy?" she asked.

Ethan's grin widened. "Everyone is good. Tali's gotten over her issues with Legion enough to start discussing the situation on the Quarian homeworld with him, now she's talking about maybe taking a team down there which is…pretty terrifying really, but at least she's happy. Chakwas you've seen. Joker is much the same. Garrus is thinking of going back to Omega to meet up with Samara, and it probably is time he had his own team again. He says hi by the way." Ethan ticked off the crew members she knew from the old Normandy on his fingers. "We had some issues with some of the other crew still being loyal to Cerberus but I...dealt with them, and I think the rest got the message that betraying me is a bad idea." His eyes narrowed for a moment in memory, and then he gave a sharp toothed smiled. "So, overall, pretty good."

Liara felt a brief moment of sympathy for those crew members, unfortunate as their choices may have been. She was struck by the stark difference in Ethan's behaviour towards those he felt loyal to and those he did not. "I wish I could be so direct with the Shadow Broker's agents," she said. "Some of the people I am forced to work with are…not very pleasant, and if I burn too many bridges at once people will become suspicious."

Ethan snorted. "Meanwhile I've burned so many bridges lately I'm not sure I've got any left."

"But you build new ones just as fast," she said. "Your new crew on the Normandy is…remarkable. I still cannot believe that you managed to recruit a _justicar_ to work for _Cerberus_."

"Yeah well," he said, "Samara warned me that if we meet again she'll probably be forced to kill me, so I'm not sure I'd count that bridge as entirely unburned." Ethan watched the screens in silence for a moment, the soft blue light highlighting the stark angles of his face and the glowing marks on his skin. "What about you?" he said. "It must be lonely keeping yourself separate like this. You have Feron, but is there anyone else you can trust?"

"I'm not like you, Ethan, I have always preferred a solitary existence," she said. "And I have people I trust, as much as I am willing to trust anyone." Ethan looked across at her and she smiled and held his gaze.

When Liara and Ethan had met his eyes had been so dark they were almost black. He had seemed so fascinating back then, so intense and strange. Liara had tried to fill the emptiness inside herself by joining with him, sensing in Ethan a similar emptiness as well as a fierce uncompromising independence she had found irresistible. But though Ethan had cared for her he had reacted badly to the risk inherent in letting another into his mind, and they had spiralled into a cycle of frustration and resentment that had ended only with his death. Ethan's eyes glowed now with a faint reddish light, his irises a maze of red-brown and umber, and she wondered how different the mind behind those eyes was to the one she had joined with two years ago.

Ethan looked away. "Well, keep in mind that your judgement sucks," he said. "I mean there was Nyxeris, and you said Feron double crossed you a few times…Not to mention that time you decided to psychically connect yourself with a spite-filled jerk."

Liara blinked. "Is that an apology?" she said.

Ethan waved his hand in the air vaguely. "…if you like," he replied. "But I'm just saying, next time you do your freaky Asari Joining thing, maybe choose someone who _likes_ sharing their feelings. You know, someone nice, all full of happiness and thoughts about kittens."

_Like Tali_ thought Liara, and tried not to be bitter. Things were probably better this way, Shepard certainly seemed happier than he had been on the old Normandy, and if Liara was honest with herself so was she. "As you can see from the available evidence, I have no interest in _nice_ people," she said. Ethan gave a wry snort. "And, not that it is any of your business, but I have decided that I will not join with anyone again until I am a little older, perhaps in a decade or so. I need to…practice getting to know people the slow way."

"Good plan," said Ethan. The slipped into silence again, caught up in watching the constant flow of information that was the centre of Liara's existence now. Ethan shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. "Though...wow, a decade. It's hard to imagine from my puny human perspective. I'm not sure any of us will even be alive by then."

"Well, you had better be," said Liara. "It was a lot of effort bringing you back to life, I'd rather not go through all that again."

Shepard gave her a little mock salute. "You're the boss," he said, with a smile.

* * *

><p>Liara watched Chakwas and Shepard's shuttle as it shuddered and rocked in it's escape from the lightening filled clouds around her home, her eyes tracking the empty sky once it had vanished into space. When she eventually turned from the window she saw that Feron was watching her.<p>

"They are…interesting people, you old crew," he said. "It must have been quite an experience working with them. Do you ever think of going back?" He spoke lightly, but there was an edge of worry to his tone. She and Feron had formed a comfortable sort of stability here, with just the two of them, and Liara got the feeling he'd found it an unpleasant shock to suddenly find himself an outsider to her reminiscinces with Shepard and Chakwas.

"Yes, my time on the Normandy was definitely _interesting_," she said. "But I would not gladly go back. I prefer being able to gain an understanding of the world from a distance, Shepard has an unfortunate tendency to think all problems can be solved by shooting at them."

"Are you saying they can't?" asked Feron, smiling. "Well, there go my plans for improving the decor."

Liara laughed. She sometimes worried that Feron was bored here, stuck in one place, and only stayed out of a sense of obligation. But perhaps he too appreciated an escape from his previous life of violence and imminent death. And even if they didn't face many _direct_ threats there were still plenty of life or death challenges, from fellow information brokers trying to bring down the competition to the ever approaching Reaper threat. For now he seemed to find that excitement enough. She was glad, Feron's friendship meant a lot to her and she wanted him to be happy. Liara smiled at Feron affectionately. "To be honest, I am not sure that adding extra holes in the walls would make things look any worse. Perhaps I _have_ let my work with the Shadow Broker's network distract me too much from practical concerns."

"Information is a heady drug," said Feron. He closed his eyes for a moment, caught up in some memory. "I have been distracted too. But leave it to me, you have other concerns. I'm no interior designer, but with such a network at my disposal I shouldn't have any trouble finding the right sort of people."

"That is very kind," said Liara.

Feron tilted his head self consciously. "It's my home too," he replied.

Liara looked again over the dilapidated space, with it's cables and dust. Despite it's ugliness and unpleasant history she felt more affection for the Shadow Broker's base than she had for her apartment on Ilium. There she had felt like any roots she set down were temporary, that she was just marking time until she finally got the Shadow Broker in her sights. But now… yes. Home. That sounded about right.


End file.
